Joke & Funny Picture Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SHOOTER13, Oct 17, 2012.

  1. squirrelhunter

    squirrelhunter Active Member

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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I see no problem with this.
    Do You?.....................
    [/FONT]


    Hillary phoned the president's office shortly after midnight.

    “I need to talk to the president, it’s an emergency!”, exclaimed Hillary.
    [FONT=Times New Roman,serif]
    [/FONT]After some cajoling, the president’s assistant agreed to wake him up.

    “So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning?”, grumbled Trump.
    [FONT=Times New Roman,serif]
    [/FONT]“ A Supreme Court Judge just died, and I want to take his place.”, begged Hillary.
    [FONT=Times New Roman,serif]
    [/FONT]“Well, it’s OK with me if it’s OK with the mortuary.”, replied President Trump.
     
  2. JimBasker

    JimBasker New Member

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    A farmer pulls up to his neighbor's spread and walks to the door. Little boy answers:
    "Hello, Mr. Baker"

    Hi Jimmy, is your Dad home?

    "Naw he went to town"

    How about your Mother?

    "Nope she went with Pa."

    How about your brother Tommy?

    "He's out back plowing. I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow something."

    No. It's about your brother getting my daughter pregnant.

    "Oh. Yeah, well I expect you'll have to talk to Pa about that. I know he gets $500 for the bull... but..."
     

  3. JimBasker

    JimBasker New Member

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    Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

    'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said,
    'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

    The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
    He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

    'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

    The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
    He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

    Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

    The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and
    finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

    St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked,
    'And just what do those symbolize?'

    The Irishman replied, 'These are Carols.'

    And So The Christmas Season Begins......
     
  4. JimBasker

    JimBasker New Member

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    When does a dad joke become a dad joke?

    When it's fully groan.
     
  5. JimBasker

    JimBasker New Member

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    Why did the stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

    Because he couldn’t find the droid he was looking for.